I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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