Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
