yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
