We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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