You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
