I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
