As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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