so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Everyone says I win the strip club
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...