the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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