yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
