home. puking in laundry basket.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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