Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Soap is not a condiment
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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