I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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