i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
