whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
