butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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