i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
