No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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