Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
