I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
