so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
