it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize