ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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