or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
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When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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