Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
