No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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