i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize