he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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