At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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