yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
