Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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