Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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