HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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