Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
