Where is the hickey?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
