Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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