Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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