she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm like, not good at living.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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