And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
