Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
