Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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