I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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