That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
