I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize