Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
