Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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