We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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