You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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