I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
