thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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