i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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