Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
