Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
