i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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