they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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