Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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