we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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