***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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